Rick

Rick and I met in 2008 as fellow volunteers in the Foundations workshop. We took parallel paths to increasing responsibility: Small group facilitation, large group facilitation, team leadership, mentorship, company leadership. We’ve worked side-by-side throughout, learning from each other and improving our craft.

In recent years, Rick has taken on the responsibility of overall leadership of the Portland program. He replaced me as president of the organization and is a long-term board member. When I stepped down as president, I chose to nominate Rick as my replacement. He was hesitant, but as always he did what was best for the organization.

He takes the lead in enrollment. This means that he is responsible for filling the room with participants, the hardest and most thankless job in the program. Most people, not even I, realize just how much time he spends interacting with prospects, prodding and encouraging them to attend.

It isn’t easy to convince people to attend a 3-day intensive workshop where they know they’ll be asked to confront their fears and talk about their emotions. Just ask Rick. It took four years of prodding and encouragement by others before he finally agreed to attend the workshop. The paradox of trying to explain the benefits of the program is that people can’t assess the value of those benefits until they actually go through the program. Rick helps people make that leap of faith. People trust him when he tells them that it will be well worth it.

Rick also does the all-important introduction session in the workshop room. It sets the tone for the entire program and sets him up as lead facilitator in the eyes of the participants. In reality, there’s no hierarchical leadership structure in the room, but people always look for the person who’s “in charge.”

Because of the many important roles he plays, the participants are actually not wrong. If there’s a single leader of the program in Portland, it’s Rick.

Which is what makes my experience with Rick all the more remarkable. When I’m in the room, he almost always consults with me and treats me like a mentor. He’s led dozens of programs without me, so he’s more than capable. He doesn’t need my advice. Yet he includes me in most of the decisions made during the course of a workshop and respects my judgment.

From this, I’ve learned that Rick doesn’t let his ego get in the way, despite the fact that he’s ambitious. He’s willing to continue learning and growing even after doing the program more than one hundred times. And when it comes to running a workshop, he places the quality of the participants’ experience above all.

Rick’s facilitation skills have improved continuously over the decade I’ve watched him. He has an easy, disarming way with his audience. He relates to people well and they respond. This is very important in a workshop where people enter extremely nervously. He has a professional demeanor which allows people to relax because they know they are in capable hands.

During the workshop, we need to build trust quickly. This is difficult because we’re all strangers walking in. But Rick is usually not a stranger to them because they’ve already talked with him and established a rapport.

In the initial session, Rick has the participants play a silly game trying to guess where South America is in relation to the United States. He takes 20 minutes or more playing this game with the group. I disliked watching him spend so much time on it because we get behind schedule right out of the gate.

What I finally realized was that he was further developing his rapport with them and building trust. This is exactly what needs to happen early in the program. He was so smooth with it that I didn’t even realize that’s what he was doing.

I watch how Rick relates to the group and wonder, “Why can’t I be more like Rick?” Then I quickly recognize and correct my own self-defeating thoughts. Yes, I admire Rick’s abilities and qualities as a facilitator. And I also have my own different and equally valuable abilities and qualities. It would be great to be just like Rick. But it’s good for me and the participants that I am just like Steve.

Rick and his wife Heather are my wonderful Portland-based hosts. In fact, Heather really deserves her own letter, as she is also somebody in which I can confide. If I’m still in town the morning after a workshop, the three of us find a restaurant to have brunch and talk. After a long, tiring marathon workshop, I’m sure the two of them would treasure some down time. But they are generous with their time, and I am privileged to enjoy their company.

Heather and Rick like to jokingly rib each other. It took me by surprise because neither of them appear to do this with other people. It’s an endearing part of their relationship.

Whenever I have a full day, Rick and Heather play tour guides and show me the area. Portland is vibrant and Oregon is naturally spectacular, and there’s always something new to show me. They must enjoy showing people around, because they spend a lot of time showing me around. Once Jamie came with me to Portland and the four of us did the tourist thing.

Heather and Rick eat vegan. Heather prepares vegan food for me and takes me to vegan restaurants. The first time I went to a vegan restaurant, I was confused to find meat on the menu. Turns out that [meat-not meat] is common in those establishments. I’m afraid Heather hasn’t converted me. I’m a die-hard carnivore. Now that my son and daughter-in-law also eat vegan, I’m not clueless about it.

Rick treats people fairly and with respect. He has a practical, rather than dogmatic approach to life and relationships. He seems to believe that love is the most important guiding philosophy. In this we agree.

The last decade working and playing alongside Rick have been meaningful, important and exhilarating. We have sharpened our skills, learned from each other, and have co-created an incredible journey. We pursue our life purposes together.

More important, our friendship has grown and deepened throughout. We trust each other. We lean on each other. We share our triumphs and struggles. It’s pretty remarkable for two guys who live 2,600 miles away from each other.

Rick, my life is richer because you are in it.