Janet

It’s interesting. The first two people I decided to write about are strong, hard-working, successful women who have been business partners and friends. It wasn’t my intention; I’ve simply started with people I know locally. Of course I’m aware they’re women, but it’s never affected my relationship with them or the way I’ve treated them as partners and equals.

I say this only because Janet’s experience growing up—and probably for most of her life, was not like this. She was not encouraged to go to college, not encouraged to be independent. Her forceful rejection of the role given to her as a young woman has become her life’s passion and driving force.

For example, she recently completed a book titled I Don’t Wanna Wear a Crown. It’s a women’s empowerment book for pre-schoolers. It’s a timely concept and a great message to give girls who are so often directed toward princesses as their heroes. You should buy it. Then purchase it as gifts for all of the preschool girls in your life. Click on the image of the book.

I met Janet when my children started attending St. Mary’s Catholic School here in Rome. She was a staff member. For a year or two she was the principal. She wasn’t called the principal because she wasn’t Catholic, but she was. (Shh… don’t tell.)

The roof over the oldest part of the school was leaky and needed to be replaced. This was around the year 2000. But we thought bigger than that, because it was time to completely replace the old part of the school. We put together a proposal and a $4 million budget to be funded through a capital campaign and a loan from the Catholic archdiocese of Atlanta. We had our appointment with the archbishop, and we were prepared!

The big day came and Janet, as usual, was on time. But I was lost. The building was on Peachtree Street. There are DOZENS of Peachtree streets in Atlanta, and to make things worse, there was no “Archdiocese” sign on the building due to security concerns.

The archbishop was on time, and you don’t keep an archbishop waiting, especially if you’re asking for something. But I was the one who had the outline and was prepared to present it. So Janet had to bluff, improvise, and BS her way through nearly a half-hour of presentation before I arrived. She explains this with a lot more “color” than my explanation. Let’s just say it bound us together forever. Happy ending: We got our new school.

Janet tells people, “Whatever Steve Safigan tells me to do, I do.” (She uses complete names like “Steve Safigan.” She even refers to her husband by his full name.) I don’t think I want the responsibility of telling Janet what to do. But what it really means is that she respects me tremendously. The feeling is mutual.

When I first became a personal coach, she was one of my “practice” clients. She still calls me “Coach.” It has allowed me to have many meaningful conversations with her. We continue to have coach conversations every once in a while.

Anyone who has met Janet knows that she is a demon of productivity. She seems driven to do as much as three mere mortals. She is a force of nature, and if you say ‘no’ to her, she’ll find a way to get it done without you, or even despite you. I think she’s learned to relax and enjoy life a little recently, which is to say that she now does the work of two mere mortals.

She once went to a personal growth workshop. (It was one of the things I “told” her to do.) At the workshop, the leader told the group to stop wasting even 10 seconds of your day. She’s taken it to heart.

She’s been involved in law, education and politics, rising to the level of senior leadership in multiple roles. She has authored multiple books. She’s involved in many local charities and was bestowed with the exclusive Heart of the Community award. I won’t try to list every activity and honor associated with her life. I think you get the idea. She is a community treasure.

We worked together for about a year. Although it didn’t turn into what we intended, it was fun working with her. In most of my roles, I’m the mentor. While it’s an honor to be someone’s mentor, it’s a little lonely. The refreshing part about my work with Janet is we worked as equals. We both tried to feel our way through together. We each had our strengths and weaknesses. There was a lot neither of us knew. We found a path that sparked both of our interests and passions.

She’s a good friend to the rest of my family as well. She’s always ready to lend a hand and get involved.

I’m honored and privileged to have seen some of her vulnerability, fear, and uncertainty. But she acts in the face of those feelings. That’s the definition of courage.

My friendship with Janet will last to the end of our lives. Her “tell it like I see it” approach is refreshing in its candor and honesty, and I always appreciate it. We have fun; she brings a sense of excitement to whatever she does, and it’s contagious. She checks in on me. We have long conversations. I wish I had more friends like her locally. I wouldn’t feel as isolated.

She’s exactly the kind of friend you would love. And I do.